Resolutions and Lasting Change
It’s been a long time since I’ve felt like I had time to breathe. As I come up for air, I feel a refreshing breeze as I think about diving back into Dialydish and all it is meant to be.
My mother and I intended this to be a place where we connect with other patients and caregivers, give our tips and tricks, and help others in the journey we have been on for almost 2 years now. I’m grateful that my new job gives me time in the morning and afternoon to do projects I care about, though for now a lot of our recipes may be simpler and easier to throw together.
I wanted to talk today about resolutions and lasting change. Polling shows that more than half of people do not keep their resolutions for longer than 6 months. (https://discoverhappyhabits.com/new-years-resolution-statistics/ and https://health.usnews.com/health-news/blogs/eat-run/articles/2015-12-29/why-80-percent-of-new-years-resolutions-fail) That is a large failure rate, and something that we should take notice of as we enter the new year and the season of resolutions. Let’s talk today about lasting change, and how we can achieve it, not by setting a resolution, but by setting incremental goals that lead to life-long change over time. The Power of Habit (https://charlesduhigg.com/the-power-of-habit/) is an excellent book to read to understand the feedback loops in a human brain, but if you don’t want to take the time to read a whole book on how to re-wire your brain (you should, it’s good) I’ll talk about a few tips that show up in multiple places that talk about this.
Make small goals out of your big ones - Small goals are much easier to achieve and give us dopamine and good feedback to keep going toward our overarching goal. For instance, if you want to lose 20 pounds, but you break it down into 5-pound increments, you may be achieving a goal that gets you to your final goal every 2 1/2 weeks. That means every few weeks you hit a reward, get a lot of dopamine from smashing your goal and are more excited to take on the next 5. Part of this is developing SMART goals too. A goal should be specific, measurable, attainable, relevant, and time-bound. If a goal is too vague, not quantifiable, not attainable, not relevant to you, or has no deadline you are setting yourself up for failure before you begin. This is a great break-down from Indeed (https://www.indeed.com/career-advice/career-development/smart-goals).
Decide on rewards ahead of time - If you know what your reward is, you have something to look forward to. If your goal is to save money for a trip, maybe when you hit a certain milestone you go out for a nice dinner or dessert. If your goal is to lose weight, maybe you get a new workout outfit at a certain amount of weight loss. Every goal should have a reward, and every reward should match your goal. If you are losing weight, don’t make rewards food, if you are saving, don’t pick something that will cost a lot/make it free, etc.
Create accountability - Don’t try to reach your goals in a vacuum. Will power is hard, and may even be a bit of a fallacy, so don’t beat yourself up if you fail without a network of people cheering you on. This network can be friends, family, strangers on the internet, whoever works best for you! Just make sure you tell someone your goal and when you want to achieve it so that they can check in with you. If you can’t think of anyone, announce it on a social media platform you use and give updates as you hit goals, or when you don’t. The acc9ountability will do wonders for most people in achieving what they’ve set out to do.
Create a craving - This one is from the Power of Habit, and I love it. Biofeedback loops keep us coming back for more of something, and you can create your own out of your goals. One I have used in the past is a scent, the smell of eucalyptus relaxes me and makes me think of being in a sauna. For a while, I would put a cotton ball with eucalyptus essential oil in my cupholder when I got to the gym so that my car would smell like that as I drove home. The smell created a feedback loop that helped my brain associate workout with relaxing, and that helped me get to the gym more often. I fell out of the habit and lost my oil, but for a while, it really worked and encouraged me to go. Think of something that you use your senses to detect, and create a feedback loop for yourself! Maybe it’s a high-five from a co-worker, a hug from your partner, a smell, a taste, or rubbing your hand across a specific texture or in a specific way (like a worry stone). Find what works for you and get that feedback flowing.
Here are my goals for the year:
Feel healthier.
Spend more time doing things I like.
Each of these has smaller goals that are SMART inspired under them, but this is me being accountable to my start.
